Taking a Stand for Marriage (November 26, 2008)

Taking a Stand for Marriage
by Holly Vicente Robaina
My vote on Proposition 8 was obvious, yet painfully difficult.

November 26, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
Some years ago, a friend sent me a Christmas card thanking me for being "natural, accepting, [and] charming." I've lost touch with my friend, but he still holds a special place in my heart. I remember the many personal, transparent conversations we had. I remember his joy for me at my wedding, and his optimism that he and his partner would be able to marry one day, too.

His love for his partner was authentic and deep. He would joke about his partner's Pillsbury-Doughboy shape, then pat his own round belly and note how good cooking and their happiness together was making him fat. My husband and I had the privilege of sampling that good cooking in their home, and I afterward I could understand why my friend's midsection was getting bigger.

I thought about my dear friend - and other gay and lesbian friends - as I voted in favor of California's Proposition 8 earlier this month, which eliminated the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. The measure passed with 52 percent of the vote.

It troubles me to think what my friend might say to me if he knew I'd supported the measure. I'm sure he would be confused and hurt. I'm sure he would ask why I'd want to create an obstacle to his happiness.

But I knew my vote wasn't on the question, "Holly, do you care about your gay friends or not?" Deep down, I hope they know I do. My vote, like everyone's vote, represented what I think is best for America. A country's laws reflect its moral values, and, as a Christian, I have specific thoughts on what those moral values should be. This doesn't mean all of my values are held by every Christian. Rather, it's an acknowledgment that my politics are affected by my understanding of the Bible. As I contemplate political issues, I prayerfully ask God to provide good information and clear thinking.

I often hear folks who aren't Christians comment: "It's wrong for Christians to impose their moral values on others," or "Christians shouldn't try to legislate morality." This used to trouble me; I didn't want people to feel I was trying to force my beliefs on them. Then one of my professors, Dr. Scott Rae, told me, "Every law is the imposition of someone's value." ThisNation.com, an educational resource on American government, further explains:

"When society deems something to be 'wrong,' it has cast a moral judgment. The political judgment that must then be made is whether such a judgment ought to become a matter of law. It is impossible, however, to create laws that have no moral dimension to them. The very act of coming together as a political society to establish rules of cooperation and societal order is based on fundamentally moral choices and preferences. Legislating morality is unavoidable."

So everyone has the right to have their thoughts factored in when it comes to developing our nation's values. I think the most important value Christians bring to the political discussion is: God is the ultimate authority.

In developing my political opinions, I first look to the Bible. We see the model God established for the marriage union in the Genesis account (Genesis 2:18-25), as God creates a suitable partner for Adam. Verse 24 says: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." The "one flesh" refers in part to sex, with "flesh" being an important term to show there's a physical aspect. The culmination of this relationship is procreation: The sexual union of the two results in one new life.

So God gave the first man a female partner, instructed that they should be united only to each other, and designed their union to be so close, they'd be able to create a child together. And the couple would become so inextricably tied together, they'd be like one person. To become like one person, there is surely a deeper spiritual union that goes beyond the physical act of sex.

God further provided guidelines in the Old Testament law to protect what he designed (Leviticus 20, Deuteronomy 22). Premarital sex, adultery, and homosexuality are all outside of God's plan for marriage: "Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers" (Hebrews 13:4, NRSV). In the Old Testament, death was the penalty for all sex outside of marriage.

We don't know how frequently this punishment was carried out, but it's interesting to consider: If death was the penalty for having any sex outside of marriage today, how many church-goers would be wiped out? (I'd submit that most churches would be completely emptied.) I say this to show that the church is in no position to judge the gay community. The only comparison to be made here is between God's holy model for marriage, and everything else that doesn't meet God's standard.

We all get our values from some authority. I recognize God as my authority, believing that his moral values are the ultimate. I want God's values for my country.

Still, I struggled over whether to vote on Proposition 8. I've long wondered, Why does God permit an attraction between members of the same sex, but sets heterosexual marriage as his standard? I don't have an answer for that question. (If I ever discover one, I'll be sure to share it.) For now, I trust that God's holiness, goodness, and justice are the ultimate best.

Blessings,
Holly

Do you ever struggle over how to combine your faith with your political opinions?