Holly has been a professional writer since 1995. She's been writing for Christian publications since 2002. This site provides links to some of her articles. For reprint inquiries, e-mail contacthnt@gmail.com.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Praying for Terrorists (August 27, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Do American Christians have a right to be angry for 9/11?
August 27, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
I'm having a Jonah moment. I recently realized I didn't want to forgive the people who planned and executed the September 11, 2001, attacks on America. I didn't want God to forgive them, either.
This surprised me. In the past, I've been able to forgive most people relatively easily. And it didn't make much sense to me: Like most Americans, the events of 9/11 shook me, but I wasn't personally affected as none of my loved ones were physically hurt. I didn't even realize I was still angry about 9/11 until I came across the website Adopt-a-Terrorist for Prayer (ATFP).
I'd read about ATFP in an article and had intended to find a terrorist to "adopt." The site's spokesman, Dr. Thomas Bruce, says the war on terrorism is primarily spiritual. "If terrorists start converting, then terrorism as a weapon will fail, and the whole world will know something spectacular about the one true God," he says on the site. Praying for terrorists' salvation sounded like a great idea to me.
But when I visited the site and began reading the killers' profiles, I became angry. Why should I pray for these evil people? I thought. They have no remorse. If given the opportunity, they'd kill every American.
One of my pastors once observed that we want God's forgiveness for ourselves, but we want his justice for our enemies. That was true for me as I prayed, "God, please let these terrorists be located and found guilty for their crimes. Punish them for the lives they took. Please help heal the families who've suffered loss by bringing justice. Amen."
That prayer seemed fair in light of the terrorists' actions. But something inside me felt wrong. I shared this with my pastor, and he helped me take a hard look at Ephesians 4:26: "In your anger do not sin." The NASB translation says, "Be angry, and yet do not sin." In this verse, we're told anger itself isn't a sin; the emotion is permissible. But unchecked anger can cause us to sin.
So it isn't wrong for me to feel anger toward terrorists. (For that matter, I can be angry toward rapists, murderers, and child molesters, too.) But I crossed the line into sin when I acted like Jonah: I ran away from the task God was giving me. Jonah's story cautions on how anger can lead to sin. Jonah felt deep anger toward his enemies, the Assyrians, and wanted God to punish rather than forgive them. There was good reason for Jonah's anger: The Assyrians had attacked his people, completely destroyed their homes, and taken the Israelites captive. When God told Jonah to go preach in Nineveh, the capital of Assyria, in his anger he disobeyed God by running away. He didn't want Israel's enemies to have a chance to receive God's mercy. Jonah tells God, "That's why I left. . . . You are a kind and merciful God, and you are very patient. You always show love, and you don't like to punish anyone" (Jonah 4:2, CEV). It was Jonah's disobedience - not his anger - that was the real problem. He ran away and cut off his relationship with God. That's what sin does: It alienates us from God.
I realized that I, too, didn't want my enemies to have any chance at grace. The Holy Spirit had moved me to pray that the terrorists would turn to God, and had led me to the ATFP website. But in my anger, I disobediently said, "No way, God! I won't pray for that; they don't deserve your forgiveness."
It didn't take long for me to feel convicted about my disobedience. The implication was this: If I thought the 9/11 terrorists didn't deserve God's mercy, it meant I wanted them to be sent to hell. To be permanently, eternally separated from God. I shivered at the thought, remembering Jesus' words in Matthew 6:14: "If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
There's a saying, adapted from the writings of the 18th-century poet Alexander Pope, that "forgiveness is divine." Perhaps it isn't humanly possible to forgive a murderer, a rapist, a child molester, or the perpetrators of 9/11 - at least, not without God's help. I can't say I'm ready to pray God will be merciful to terrorists. But I'm willing to let the Holy Spirit continue to transform me inside. If I allow God to change my heart, he'll show me the right balance between justifiable anger and divine mercy.
Blessings,
Holly
Is there someone you feel angry toward? Has your anger caused you to sin?
Secondhand Witnessing (July 24, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
We can’t expect T-shirts, jewelry, and bumper stickers to do all the work.
July 24, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
South Carolina is facing a lawsuit over the proposed production of specialty Christian license plates with the imprint, "I Believe." While opponents are asking whether or not this law constitutes state endorsement of religion, I have another important question: Why do people want these license plates, anyway?
I've often wondered why some Christians wear "Jesus" T-shirts and cross necklaces. I'm not sure what people hope to convey with bumper stickers reading, "In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned."
I suspect many believers think their T-shirts and the like will attract non-believers to Jesus. I've heard Christians refer to their inspirational paraphernalia as "conversation starters" for the purpose of evangelism. But do these things actually serve as icebreakers for real conversation? Or do they just make us feel we've witnessed, without ever saying a word?
This "secondhand evangelism" doesn't seem very effective. A couple years ago, my husband and I were enjoying lunch at a café when another couple plunked down at the table next to us. The man began speaking to his female companion at a level audible to every diner in the quiet café:
Him (almost shouting): WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY THE GOOD LORD HAS GIVEN US!
Her (nearly whispering): Yes, it's beautiful today.
Him: WE CERTAINLY ARE BLESSED! YES, OUR GOD IS GOOD!
Her: Uh … yup.
Each time the man would make a comment about his faith, he'd give us a sideways glance to estimate our reaction. And each time, his companion also would sneak a peek, her eyes full of apologies to us. Before they'd received their beverages, we knew which church the man attended, how long he'd been a Christian, and what he prayed for every day. All without his speaking one direct word to us. Their food arrived, and, suddenly, the man broke out like a preacher on Easter Sunday: "OH, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT MY SAVIOR? MY LIFE WOULD BE IN UTTER SHAMBLES, YES, IT WOULD. GLORY TO GOD FOR THE DIFFERENCE HE'S MADE IN MY LIFE! THERE'S POWER IN THE BLOOD. I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW ANYONE CAN LIVE ONE DAY WITHOUT CHRIST!"
I then noticed other nearby diners beginning to roll their eyes. My attention shifted to my husband, who isn't a Christian. His hands were clenched around his sandwich, and his green eyes had narrowed into black death rays. My next words were, "Check, please."
On the way home, my husband told me the loud man had tremendously annoyed him. I apologized, explaining that some Christians consider this approach a good way to share their beliefs. My husband had a direct, simple response: "Acting that way, did he actually think that I'd be interested in what he said? That I'd want to be like him?"
I've often wondered if the man in the café has ever had success with secondhand witnessing. And I wonder what he hopes to accomplish. Does he blare out his faith so he doesn't have to engage in a real conversation? Or does he truly believe someone might approach him and want to talk about Jesus? If so, his technique isn't working.
T-shirts and other Christian paraphernalia may have a similar effect: repelling rather than inviting. We've all probably seen the "Darwin" version of the Christian ichthus (the fish symbol), or the bumper sticker reading, "In case of rapture, can I have your car?" The existence of antisymbols and slogans proves many people find Christian paraphernalia offensive. Certainly, we're not wrong to represent faith through our possessions. But we too often let symbols serve as the sole representation of our faith. When our next-door neighbors think about us, they should see us as the ones who say "Hello" every day. The ones who bring a plate of cookies at Christmas. The ones who volunteer to baby-sit or pick up their mail when they're on vacation. We shouldn't simply be the adjacent house's inhabitants who have a fish sticker on our minivan.
Our desire to display Christian paraphernalia may come from a good place. We want people to see what God's done in our lives. We want others to experience the difference Jesus can make in theirs. But we need to do more than just wear our faith on our sleeves, around our necks, or on our bumpers. We need to make ourselves available for real conversations, and pray God uses our lives and words to speak to others.
Blessings,
Holly
Think of someone you'd like to tell about your faith. How personally do you know her? How much time do you spend with him?
Redefining Marriage (June 26, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
“For better or worse” is taking a turn for the worse.
June 26, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
Same-sex couples lined up to get marriage licenses in California last week, after my state became the second in the U.S. to allow gay marriage. Gay-rights activists, fighting for nationwide recognition of same-sex unions, want the same rights and privileges as married heterosexual couples'.
Previously, several states, including California, recognized same-sex civil unions to provide many of marriage's legal benefits, including property, parental, and medical rights. But more than marital rights, gay-rights activists want society to see them as legitimate couples. "Civil unions are unfamiliar; people don't understand them or know how to treat them … . Marriage is the ultimate expression of love and commitment; people understand and respect it," reads a publication from the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) website. As Brad Sears, executive director of the Williams Project on Sexual Orientation Law at UCLA, explained in a PBS interview, civil unions "do not provide gay couples with the social recognition and support that the institution of marriage provides." The word marriage, gay-rights activists believe, is power.
Those activists may be in for major disappointment. Marriage no longer receives recognition as an esteemed, unbreakable bond. In the past, society viewed a couple as one person. A husband's and wife's signatures were synonymous, and either spouse could make decisions for both. These days, I can't request a replacement ATM card for my husband, and he can't change our joint accounts without my permission. (With one bank rep, I argued, "If we'd wanted our accounts limited to individual access, we'd have gotten individual accounts!") Spouses can also conceal medical information from each other; most states don't even require spousal consent for abortion or sterilization. Clearly, individual rights supersede a couple's commitment.
And why should the "institution" of marriage gain recognition when it gets entered and broken on a whim? Most researchers believe between 40 and 50 percent of all marriages eventually end in divorce. And, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the most common reasons given are poor communication, financial problems, insufficient commitment, dramatic priority changes, and infidelity. In other words, most people simply change their minds.
Society has largely accepted marriage as temporary. In my undergraduate college's online alumni directory, users can click a box that says, "Please remove spouse/partner from my record." Just that simply, the relationship is erased. This approach sounds frighteningly like real life. The celebrity marriage of Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman lasted five months, Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage's union ended in three and a half months, and Britney Spears's "commitment" endured two days. But Christians can't cast stones. According to The Barna Group's most recent divorce poll, the divorce rate among born-again Christians (32 percent) was the same as the average rate for all study participants (33 percent).
Divorce's prevalence is a crucial issue for the gay community. Gay-rights activists see divorce as an important benefit available to married couples, and want it because of the difficulty in dissolving gay unions. For example, Rhode Island courts ruled the state can't issue divorce decrees on same-sex marriages because Rhode Island recognizes marriage—and thus divorce—only between a man and a woman. Meanwhile, however, Oregon created provisions allowing easier dissolution of gay domestic partnerships. The ability to divorce, gay-rights activists say, protects the rights of individuals involved.
The United States' emphasis on individual rights may come at a great cost to social morality. In a PBS interview about the fight over same-sex unions, Boston College Law School professor Thomas Kohler said, "Perhaps the best thing to do is legally to disestablish marriage and return it to the realm of civil society. The law would be entirely neutral to the institution, neither privileging it nor granting those within it any special benefits or status. As a wholly private relationship, parties would be free to contract whatever sort of relationship they wish, according to whatever rubric they desire. The law would recognize only individuals."
Kohler's best idea would likely mean legitimacy for polygamy, incest, statutory rape, and maybe even bestiality. This anything-goes attitude is already apparent on TV, with new shows such as Swingtown celebrating open relationships, and popular shows such as Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, and Desperate Housewives glorifying premarital, extramarital, and homosexual relationships. Anyone who thinks my prediction couldn't really happen in America just needs to consider how Canada, after legalizing gay marriage three years ago, is debating whether to recognize polygamous unions, too. Extending rights through civil unions (where people can share their property with whomever they want) may quickly lead to embracing moral relativism (where people can marry their dogs).
Still, the gay community is blameless for the current state of marriage. Heterosexuals—including us evangelical Christians—are solely responsible for damaging God's holy union. We must admit our guilt, and our selfishness at the root of divorce and infidelity. If we Christians really want to restore God's plan for marriage, we need to channel some of the energy that's gone into fighting same-sex marriages into working on our own marriages.
Blessings,
Holly
Questioning God (May 28, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Is it OK to wonder why he allows suffering?
May 28, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
Maria Sue Chapman, the five-year-old daughter of veteran Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, was accidentally struck and killed by a car last week. As I read the news of Maria's death, I asked God my most oft-repeated question: Why?
On learning the details, I shifted to a more accusatory question: How could you allow this, God? Some of the Chapman children witnessed the accident in the family's driveway. The driver who accidentally hit Maria was her 17-year-old brother. And their mother, Mary Beth, has long struggled with depression. From my perspective, the loss was too much for the Chapman family. From my perspective, God should have stopped the car.
Throughout my youth, I thought questioning life events—including suffering—was wrong because, some Christians told me, God has a purpose and plan for everything. A Christian naturally responds with absolute faith, they said, because "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). Some people even cited the story of Job and told me, "Job never questioned God." So I feigned faith. I did my best to express the trust and peace I thought all Christians possessed.
Yet when, as an adult, I read the book of Job, I saw he indeed questioned God. Early in his suffering, Job wishes he'd never been born. This desire is surely a question about God's will and plan, since God gave Job life. Job becomes increasingly accusatory: "Why does God let me live when life is miserable and so bitter?" (Job 3:20, CEV); "God has made my days drag on and my nights miserable" (7:3). Job even asks questions similar to mine: "Why is life so hard? Why do we suffer?" (7:1).
Two years ago, my friend Rosie asked those very questions when she lost her 39-year-old husband, Gordon, to cancer. Because Rosie had prayed and believed God would restore her husband's health, she was spiritually devastated at Gordon's death.
I was, too, because I'd believed God would offer some meaning for Gordon's horrific physical suffering. At the least, I'd thought God would give family members and friends total peace, assuring them Gordon was in heaven. We had much peace, but we also had much pain—and many questions: Why did God allow this cancer? Why did he take Gordon away from his kids, a toddler and a teenager?
The Bible outlines several reasons for suffering: It can develop character and spiritual maturity; it can provide opportunities to share faith; it can correct sin; it can prepare for comforting others; and it can bring glory to God. Yet, such knowledge may be meaningless to the sufferer. Knowledge doesn't always soothe. Quoting Romans 8:28 repeatedly hasn't removed my questions. I haven't found any pat answers or fast fixes for the problem of suffering. More often, the only meaningful prayer for me and suffering friends is, "Why, God?"
Too many Christians expect faith to come easily. Effortlessly. I used to think, I'll never understand why suffering exists, so I just need to have faith—as if I were born with deep, mature faith! But perfect faith isn't innate, nor does it come with salvation. Rather, faith has grown gradually in me. It seems to grow when I suffer or share others' suffering, when I'm so overwhelmed that I run to God in prayer.
And in that desperation, my prayers are often anxious, furious, or miserable. I certainly don't approach God with trust and peace. But faith doesn't grow if I try to fake it. Instead, those moments of emotional rawness are the times I'm most receptive to hearing God out.
Perhaps God wanted me to struggle with the concept of suffering while witnessing Gordon's illness, and now while reading about the Chapmans. I need to pray honestly: "God, I have no idea why you're allowing suffering. Frankly, I don't trust your plan right now, and I don't see any good coming from this pain. But I do recognize you're God: You fully understand the purpose of human suffering. I'm glad I can unload my frustration and confusion on you. Please use these events to teach me and others."
When I pray honestly, I rarely receive my desired answers. God's never shown me suffering's ultimate purpose. He simply allows me to wrestle with the "Why?" question to expose my hurt and mistrust. And I'm starting to realize that to get to real faith, I need to start with real doubt.
Blessings,
Holly
Straight Talk About Money (April 23, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Churches need to be forthcoming about financial matters.
April 23, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
Money's a topic that makes people squirm. Many couples can't have a candid conversation about purchases or budgets or checking account balances. Perhaps this reticence explains why the median credit card debt in American households is $6,600, according to CardTrak.com.
Similarly, churches—both their leaders and members—seem to have a hard time speaking plainly about finances. I've heard plenty of long, flowery speeches about firstfruits, multiplication, and abundance. And I've listened to a few drawn-out threats that God will forcibly take what's his if I don't freely give it. One church I visited took two offerings; and several friends' churches have passed the plate as many as five times in one service.
Hearing sermons on my need to trust God with my finances is certainly good. But when I feel I'm being beaten over the head with the point, I start to wonder, Is the church having financial trouble? Why doesn't the pastor just say, "We're up to our eyeballs in debt"? Why doesn't somebody stand up and ask what's going on?
But I've never stood up and asked, and I've never witnessed anyone else do so. Obviously, church leaders aren't the only people who tiptoe around the topic of money; many church members never inquire about their church's financial status.
Money talk embarrasses some churchgoers. Friends have told me they don't ask for reimbursement when they buy church supplies because asking is too awkward. One friend told me she reduced her tithe in lieu of submitting her receipts.
But picking up the tab can have some unfortunate consequences. It makes creating an accurate budget difficult for church leaders. If "Sally," a volunteer children's church teacher, buys curriculum books for five years without submitting receipts, and then moves to another state, the church staff will suddenly face a shocking realization: They have no budget line for curriculum books, and no idea how to plan for the ongoing expense. Or worse, the new children's church teacher will assume she's saddled with paying for the books "because that's what Sally did." Such expectations are a surefire way to lose volunteers.
The budget will also suffer if Sally reduces her tithe instead of requesting reimbursement. If she regularly tithes $200 a month, but one month spends $150 on curriculum and reduces her tithe accordingly, the church budget will fall $150 short, since the church treasurer plans it based on regular tithes. That amount might sound small. But what if Marlene, Jenny, and John buy items for the church and also reduce tithes that month?
Obviously, direct discussion about money matters can only help the church. I used to be pleased that my church never spoke about finances. (We haven't passed an offering plate in years; instead, we have collection boxes in the back of the sanctuary.) Naturally, I assumed everything was just dandy. Then, a few months ago, the senior pastor announced we hadn't met our budget goals due to decreased tithes and offerings. I appreciated this straightforward statement, but it caught me off guard. How had we gone from dandy to deficit?
Part of it was due to the U.S. economy's downturn. But a bigger part of the giving shortage was due to our church's no longer even mentioning the offering. Apparently, it had become a little too secretive: One Sunday, a baffled visitor had handed me some cash and said, "I wanted to give this to the church, but I didn't know how."
A simple, weekly offering announcement boosted giving and got our budget back on track. Silence seems to be a real budget buster.
The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Corinthian church, offers a great model of straight talk about money. He tells the Corinthians how he'll use the funds—to support the poor of the Jerusalem church—and instructs: "On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made" (1 Corinthians 16:2).
That's the directness I want to hear. Perhaps a few candid comments will keep the offering plate—and the congregants' hearts—overflowing.
Blessings,
Holly
Is discussing money difficult for you? How would you rate your church's financial conversations? Do you have a good understanding of your church's financial situation?
A Partnership Made in Heaven? (March 26, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Should churches team up with secular groups for a cause they both value?
March 26, 2008 | Today's Christian Woman
If Tree Top, the apple juice company, offered your church a donation for outreach ministries, would you take it? What if Coca-Cola gave a contribution, no strings attached, to your building fund? Or if Budweiser sent a sizable amount for your missions project?
Some of you will consider those questions carefully. Others of you will dismiss them altogether—after all, they pose hypothetical situations that probably won't happen to you.
Back in my elementary school days, teachers largely discouraged hypothetical questions (apparently, considering what would happen if the sun were to blow up wasn't helpful). But these days, I use hypothetical questions to help me evaluate how others might view a situation.
Currently, my church is developing a partnership called SuDance to raise money for an orphanage in war-torn Sudan. While most current aid to Sudan focuses on relief (food and medical supplies), my church wants to build infrastructure there. To help with these efforts, two DJs who are Christians approached my pastor and proposed gathering their buddies—some of the world's most sought-after DJs—to hold fund-raising dance events across the country. The volunteer DJs potentially could raise $100,000—ten times the amount my church collected for Sudan last year. Additionally, at the events the DJs would display photos of Sudanese orphans and ask dance-goers to sponsor individual children.
Here's the rub: These events would be secular gatherings held in venues serving alcohol.
After prayerfully considering this partnership's implications, my pastor contacted the church's district superintendent and received the denomination's approval. My pastor also posed hypothetical questions, similar to the ones mentioned above, to several of our church's leaders. Some of his hypotheticals seemed benign, while others made me shudder. He used these questions to get the congregation thinking: How will other people receive this partnership?
After we considered the hypotheticals, my pastor turned our attention to a bigger question: Can two groups with different value systems work together for a cause they both value?
My pastor's hypothetical questions gave me perspective on the issue. My first thought was, This partnership will offend some people. My pastor's bigger question reminded me we sometimes need to move beyond this worry, because we'll never achieve universal agreement on any idea. (When a church needs new carpet, the question of tan or gray can nearly bring Christ-followers to fisticuffs!) If my church avoided doing anything potentially divisive, we'd end up immobilized.
Those hypothetical questions also helped my church gauge whether this partnership could damage someone's faith. This consideration is crucial when making decisions either as individual Christians or as churches: "Be careful . . . that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak" (1 Corinthians 8:9).
Reflecting on hypothetical questions prepares you to respond to opportunities. When you ask, "If we did this, how would we do it?" you also invite others to contribute to the idea, and you may gain needed skills or know-how. Another pastor at my church was interested in developing community outreach programs, but she didn't know how to get started. As soon as she expressed interest, however, people began offering information and assistance.
So I'll keep asking those hypothetical questions. And I'll keep looking in the mailbox for that check from Coca-Cola . . . or whoever else wants to support my church's efforts.
Blessings,
Holly
Christians Behaving Badly (February 27, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Who’s giving the church a bad reputation? Perhaps I am.
February 27, 2008 |
I was shocked and dismayed to hear actor Heath Ledger died last month. Shocked, because Ledger was only 28. Dismayed, because I learned of his passing through an MSNBC.com article titled "Church Plans to Protest Ledger's Memorial."
Apparently, Fred Phelps's family is at it again. Fred Phelps is the founder of Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), a group known for vigorously condemning homosexuality through protests, videos, and websites such as GodHatesFags.com. They believe the Iraq war is God's punishment for America's acceptance of homosexuality, and they became infamous for picketing funerals of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq. Ledger became WBC's target because he played a gay cowboy in the 2005 movie Brokeback Mountain.
The most troubling part of the MSNBC article was that its author identified WBC as simply a "Baptist church." The article didn't mention WBC has no affiliation with or recognition from any known Baptist organizations, and Phelps's "church" primarily consists of his family members. Granted, this article ran in MSNBC's gossip section. Still, how many readers believed Baptists—or, more generally, Christians—sanctioned this bad behavior?
Stories such as this one embarrass me. They make me want to disassociate—Well, I'm not like "those Christians." But I've started to wonder: Do any of my actions make me seem like them? Do others ever perceive me as one of "them"?
"Those Christians" make me uncomfortable because their actions cause me to consider my own. To analyze my actions, I listed bad behaviors often associated with Christians:
Mistake #1: Thinking non-Christians are morally or ethically inferior to believers. I've made this mistake by not recognizing God can teach me through unbelieving friends. Some time ago, I offered to make photocopies of a booklet for one such friend. He replied, "No, I'll buy my own booklet. It's copyrighted, and I want the author to get his royalties." My friend's integrity amazed me, and my own lack of regard for the writer's livelihood shocked me. This conversation was a poignant reminder: Everyone I encounter has a lesson to teach.
Mistake #2: Believing some sins are worse than others. Probably no one would admit to this attitude. But again, I'm guilty of this mistake due to my dismissive attitude toward sinful thoughts. When someone cuts me off in traffic, I feel entitled to anger. Bitterness, jealousy, and envy seem like "no big deal" because I haven't done anything wrong. But then I remember coveting—forbidden in the Ten Commandments—is usually a thought, and many of the other nine can take the form of thoughts, too. Suddenly, those sinful thoughts don't seem so little anymore.
Mistake #3: Thinking Christians earn a "spiritual rank" through works—or lack thereof. Everyone's heard the terms: the ungodly, baby Christians, backsliders, legalists, heretics, those who talk the talk but don't walk the walk, and, of course, the spiritually mature. Since I've used only one or two of those terms in my entire life, surely I'm not guilty of this mistake. Yet, in some ways, I am. I gravitate toward the spiritually mature, believing only they can teach me. And I often overlook God's power evidenced in new Christians. Because they see God's Word with fresh eyes, new Christians astound me with their scriptural insights. Much like the remedy for Mistake #1, I need to remember God teaches me through many people, and he can definitely use a new Christian to reinvigorate my faith.
Mistake #4: Believing I've arrived spiritually. I sometimes zone out for the reading of familiar Scripture during my pastor's sermon, thinking, Yeah, yeah, I've heard this one before. I became aware of this when I asked my church's youth group to recite John 3:16 together. The teens rolled their eyes and practically yawned out the words. I wonder if I sometimes wear that bored facial expression in church. My poor pastor!
I'd previously pretty much dismissed a lot of my own unfortunate behavior. I wonder how many people have noticed my bad attitudes, bad facial expressions, and maybe even bad actions, and said, "That's how Christians behave? I don't want to be like them." I'm actually grateful to have read about the latest antics of the Phelps family; their bad behavior helped me recognize behavior I need to change. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23–24).
The next time I read a story or hear a conversation about "those Christian jerks," I'll try not to smugly nod in agreement. Instead, I'll listen carefully. After all, they just might be talking about me.
Blessings,
Holly
How do you respond when other Christians behave badly? Is recognizing bad behaviors in yourself difficult? What's helped you recognize and change these thoughts or behaviors?
Misplaced Faith (January 23, 2008)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Is faith the most important issue in the 2008 presidential race?
January 23, 2008 |
News reports indicate religious faith is one of the most important issues in the 2008 presidential election—right up there with the Iraq war, economy, immigration, environment, education, health care, and terrorism. I wonder, When did faith become an "issue"?
I don't know whether pundits, political analysts, or the presidential candidates themselves decided faith would be a hot topic for this election. Maybe the public—or even we Christians—did. In any case, candidates clearly are making their beliefs known. Mike Huckabee's campaign slogan is "Faith. Family. Freedom." Hillary Clinton spoke about faith and works at Saddleback Church's 2007 HIV/AIDS Summit. Barack Obama's website lists a phone number voters can call to pray for him and his family.
And the media have provided a plethora of information about each presidential candidate's faith. Last summer, CNN broadcasted a Sojourners-sponsored forum focusing on the top three Democratic candidates' spiritual beliefs. Beliefnet.com and Time magazine created "God-o-meter," a ten-point rating system measuring how often presidential candidates mention God and faith. And a PBS webpage contains downloadable sound bites of references to faith in campaign speeches.
This frenzy over faith concerns me. I'm worried it might overshadow important election topics such as the ongoing war. I'm worried Christian voters will feel pressured to vote for the candidate most vocal about his or her faith. And I'm tremendously worried the church will be perceived as a political pawn.
In 2004, political analysts suggested George W. won because he reached out to evangelicals and secured their vote. Ever since, both Republicans and Democrats have courted evangelical Christians. In the current presidential race, several candidates from both major parties use church language and mention favorite Bible verses or worship songs in their speeches. These hints at faith are so frequent, they�ve almost created a second race to determine the "Best Christian."
I find this faith rhetoric entirely unhelpful. Once candidates have indicated their faith background, I neither need nor want them to quote Scripture or use church-isms. I have trouble hearing a candidate's ideas on major foreign and domestic issues when they're tangled up with faith references. Plus, the overuse of faith as a political buzzword dilutes its real meaning.
Truth is, candidates are using faith to manipulate Christian voters. So how do we escape from this game and make a wise choice at the polls?
1) We need to view ourselves as employers. The president is an employee of every American, and the presidential election is the one of the most important hiring decisions Americans undertake.
A wise employer understands personal priorities don't always correlate with hiring needs. If my car breaks down, I hire a competent mechanic to repair my vehicle. However, I'm a happy person who prefers to be around happy people, and the best mechanic in town happens to be moody and withdrawn. I'll probably hire him even though he isn't a happy person like me. Sometimes we need to let go of a few personal priorities to get the job done right.
2) We need to push beyond the faith criteria. Assuming a candidate will be more ethical and moral if he or she professes Christian faith is a mistake. We've all read the headlines about high-profile believers breaking laws or committing immoral acts. Additionally, candidates could lie about their faith, or they may never have changed because of their beliefs. Even if a candidate's faith is firmly rooted, it doesn't predict his or her policy decisions as president.
3) We need to do the hard work of becoming well informed. We shouldn't take the easy route by picking the candidate who earns our pastor's endorsement or sends us a campaign postcard with a cross on it. It's important to study a candidate's voting record and past and present political statements.
Nothing's wrong with voting for a candidate of strong faith. In fact, I'd prefer our country's leader believe in God. But if faith is all we're demanding in a president, we're demanding too little.
Blessings,
Holly
How does a presidential candidate's faith influence your vote? Which issues are most important in determining your vote in this election?
Golden Opportunity (December 26, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
The Golden Compass provides a new way to think and talk candidly about the church.
December 26, 2007 |
How often do non-Christian friends ask you to discuss your beliefs? How often does someone say to you, "My problem with the Christian church is … "? A new movie just might spark those conversations. But some Christians will never see it.
That's because The Golden Compass attracted controversy months before it opened on December 7. In October, the Catholic League called for a boycott of the film. An e-mail warning Christians to stay away from the movie circulated so widely, the mailing has become one of the top searches on the rumor-debunking website Snopes. A November news release from MOVIEGUIDE, a publication of the Christian Film & Television Commission, compared The Golden Compass to pro-Hitler Nazi films and stated, "If you are looking for a savior, you need look no further than Jesus Christ. If you are looking for bondage, go see The Golden Compass."
Why all this clamor? Primarily because the flick targets kids. The Golden Compass is based on the first book in the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman, who's been described as both atheist and agnostic. (Pullman seems hesitant to identify with either label—he says he's seen no evidence of God, but acknowledges God could exist.) The Catholic League believes Pullman is trying to "sell atheism to kids." A quick look at Pullman's work explains their assertion: The villains of His Dark Materials are an oppressive, authoritarian organization named the Magisterium—referred to as "the church" in the books, but not in this first movie—and God. The story takes place in a world where people's souls live outside their bodies, in the shape of animals called daemons (pronounced "demons").
I find this word usage off-putting, and it's likely meant to be. In 2001, Pullman told The Washington Post, "I'm trying to undermine the basis of Christian belief." In his trilogy, one character, a former nun turned physicist, says, "The Christian religion is a very powerful and convincing mistake." The most troubling events occur in his trilogy's later books that characterize God as a deceptive liar. Pullman seems to clearly refer to the Judeo-Christian God when he writes, "The Authority, God, the Creator, the Lord, Yahweh, El, Adonai, the King, the Father, the Almighty—those were all names he gave himself." In the final book, God is killed.
This plotline offends and hurts me. Yet I still believe The Golden Compass movie provides incredible opportunities for Christians. Philip Pullman's opinions reflect a widely held criticism of the church—that it's cold and legalistic—and his assertions hold some truth. As Jeffrey Overstreet, a reviewer for ChristianityTodayMovies.com, expresses on his blog: "Here's a question worth considering: Why does Pullman have this wrongful impression of the church in the first place? Could it be that he's encountered arrogant, judgmental Christians? Could it be, to some degree, Christians' fault?"
Acknowledging our own flaws is difficult. I often need an outside source to expose mine. I view Pullman's work as an honest critique of the church, and an opportunity to assess areas needing improvement. Pullman inspires me to ask myself, Does my behavior cause others to turn away from God? What can I do to help change negative perceptions of the church?
And I immediately wonder: When Christian groups protest out of anger, how does their behavior reflect on the church? Certainly, Christians should offer their perspective on the film's content. (Here's mine: The Golden Compass contains violence, ethical ambiguities, and many dark and scary images.) But when Christian groups use strong-arm tactics to silence disagreement with the church, they do more harm than good. These actions make the church appear much like Pullman's Magisterium. Plus, such tactics are likely counterproductive. One New York Times reader wrote on the newspaper's website, "I hadn't even heard of [The Golden Compass] until all the media attention by the religious zealots. And if not for them, I probably wouldn't be going with my family to see it."
On the upside, the controversy has gotten many people talking about God. Suddenly, discussing religion with our co-workers, neighbors, and friends isn't taboo, because they've already heard an earful on the evening news—and they're itching to offer their opinions. Honestly, I didn't even like the movie, but I'm glad I saw it, because it's led to some amazing discussions.
Movies such as The Passion of The Christ and The Chronicles of Narnia have provided springboards for deep spiritual conversations. But Christian-themed blockbusters don't come out every day. And besides, people who aren't following Christ largely don't listen to Christian music, read Christian books, or watch Christian movies. The church needs to look beyond Christian fare to communicate the gospel. It's no surprise some of the best opportunities to share our faith spring from the greatest challenges to our faith.
Blessings,
Holly
What do you think about the controversy surrounding The Golden Compass? Have you had any conversations about it? Has a "non-Christian" book or movie ever sparked a discussion about faith for you?
Generation Exodus (November 28, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Why do so many young people leave the church?
November 28, 2007 |
At 17, I stopped attending church. I'd had doubts about Christianity for a few years, but I didn't feel safe asking questions at my church. I figured I'd face condemnation for my "lack of faith." In my 20s, whenever I found the rare Christian who'd converse with me, he or she seemed ill-prepared to offer a basic definition of Christian faith, much less a defense of it. Worse, some Christians dismissed my questions with a condescending, "I'll pray for you." For nearly a decade, I remained disconnected from the church.
So I wasn't surprised when a recent study by LifeWay Research—an organization affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention—found 70 percent of respondents had stopped attending church by age 23. Of those "dropouts" (as the survey called them), 58 percent noted at least one church- or pastor-related reason for leaving. The most frequently cited reasons were "church members seemed judgmental or hypocritical" and "I didn't feel connected to the people in my church." Additionally, 52 percent said "religious, ethical, or political beliefs" contributed to their departure.
Two of my friends who've left the church offer some of their thoughts:
__________
"The church says, 'Don't ask questions—read your Bible for the answers. Don't think — pray.' Many people buy into this teaching, even though it insults our intelligence. The church creates prejudices, forcing us to judge people because they don't believe in Jesus Christ or because they consider the possibility of truth beyond Jesus and Christianity. God forbid anybody ever entertain those thoughts." —female, 21
__________
"Christians seem to want to remake the world in their image. I don't understand how they selectively pick and choose from the Bible. The Bible includes commands not obeyed in today's society. Christians dismiss the instruction to not touch pig skin, yet proclaim gays are contradicting God's plan, going to hell, and destroying society by wanting to marry. I don't understand why one instruction is advice to be ignored out of common sense and the other is God's written law on the subject." —male, 34
__________
A large part of my friends' pain and anger is the result of silence within the church. Too often, we don't discuss social issues with each other. We don't share our doubts or personal struggles. We don't even talk about our understanding of Christianity—perhaps we're afraid others will judge us for our limited knowledge.
Above all, we don't acknowledge problems that plague the church. In examining the generational exit from the church, I asked several friends to share their concerns and irritations. They were eager and excited to respond. While I don't agree with every idea offered here, I think communicating and listening to each other is vital to our health as a church body. May we read their comments with thought and with respect for their willingness to share.
__________
"The American Christian church seems focused on a few issues—such as abortion and homosexuality/same-sex marriage—that, while important, shouldn't be all-consuming. The church and its people should focus more on poverty and compassion. We're so busy trying to make converts by saying how bad the world is. The world has always been bad! The early church led people to Christ by caring for them, both materially and spiritually. We need to follow their example today." —female, 40
__________
"A major problem with today's Christian church is we perpetuate the myth we've attained perfection and have somehow transcended the struggles everyone else around us faces. We even fool ourselves into believing this myth. The apostle Paul exhibits brutal honesty when he says in Romans 7:21, ?I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong'" (NLT). —male, 30
__________
"At church, I'm least myself—not most myself, or my best self. ?Morality' always seems tied to individual repression (don't smoke, don't drink), rather than to group responsibility (help the homeless, eradicate poverty). I believe Christians should be interested more in the military support of Israel than in whether or not I want a cigarette." —female, 34
__________
"Christians, as a whole, are judgmental. We've forgotten God told us our place isn't to judge. Not only do we judge non-believers, but we judge each other for the most irrelevant matters. Rather than judge, we need to love unconditionally. Rather than look down on people, we need to care for them as Jesus would. He forgave us, so what makes us better than someone else?" —female, 28
__________
"The church has done a horrible public relations job. Being a Christian means pursuing a life of contemplation, refusing to accept injustice as a societal norm, and believing a loving higher power—and not our own human deeds—guides a believer's fate. At some point, someone's behavior must have created the perception that Christians are nothing more than superstitious and judgmental. That person certainly wasn't Jesus." —male, 34
__________
"The most annoying aspect of today's Christian church is the prevalence of intolerant, closed-minded, and dogmatic views. Unfortunately, the people who hold such views tend to be the most vocal Christians, drowning out more moderate voices. These vocal Christians take extreme positions, such as denouncing Halloween as devil worship or celebrating the war in Iraq as God's punishment for our country's tolerance of homosexuality. They proclaim anyone who doesn't agree with their views is going to hell. In doing so, they show no tolerance for other religions and points of view. Ironically, they're quite similar in their intolerance and hypocrisy to some of the very people they loathe: Islamic fundamentalists."
—female, 34
__________
"What's wrong with the church today? In the words of G.K. Chesterton, ?I am.' I am because I'm the only one I can change, and sometimes I refuse to give myself to God. I get in the way of the gospel with my bad example and my failure to be a light in the world." —male, 23
__________
"I'm frustrated that many Christians seem brainwashed: When they sign up for Christ-following, they often subscribe to all the traditional political and moral viewpoints of the Christian church without checking if those perspectives are truly biblical. I hope Christians will search the Word and listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance, rather than follow without using their minds." —female, 27
__________
Back to my story: About seven years ago, I met Penny, a 50something secretary and an exuberant Christian. I'd been miserably disconnected from the church for almost 10 years, so Penny was like an oasis in the desert for me. She was transparent and humble. She was honest about the shortcomings of the church, and quick to identify her own role in these. She never portrayed herself as someone who was perfect or superior, but rather as someone who daily relied on God. Most important, she was always willing to talk about her beliefs and my questions. She was the personification of 1 Peter 3:15, ready to give an answer with gentleness and respect.
Penny was everything I wanted to be: a real person with real faith. God began changing me through my conversations with her. I reconnected with the church, and, thankfully, I discovered many more Christians just like Penny.
Admitting our doubts, questions, and frustrations about the church can be difficult, even painful. Yet I believe such discussion is necessary: We can't become more Christlike unless we first identify how we're not like Christ. Let's get this conversation started.
Blessings,
Holly
What concerns or frustrates you most about today's Christian church? What encourages you most? How can we—as individuals and as a church—promote honest, meaningful conversation?
A Halloween-Loving Christian? (October 24, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Maybe it’s OK for me to enjoy this controversial holiday.
October 24, 2007 |
I love Halloween. It's long been my absolute favorite holiday.
I know, my favorite should be Christmas or Easter, when we celebrate Jesus and our salvation. Or even Thanksgiving, when we're grateful for all God's gifts to us. Yet I choose Halloween, the "Devil's holiday."
My love of Halloween began with sweet childhood experiences. Every year, I wore a Mom-made costume. As a toddler, I was a pink bunny in footed pajamas. Mom sewed fabric ears and used a wire hanger to make them stand up. She used her eyeliner to draw whiskers on my face. My brother, Mike, was a hobo (as were half the kids in our neighborhood). Mom used petroleum jelly to stick coffee grinds to Mike's face, creating a stubbly "beard" on his eight-year-old chin. I still smile when I look at the picture of us, me proudly showing off my bunny suit, Mike scowling about the strong coffee smell.
Dad gave us pillowcases to hold our loot, and took us door to door to collect treats. Since my parents knew everyone in the neighborhood, they let us eat the candy—and homemade popcorn balls, cookies, and cupcakes—and didn't even glance at it. We pranced around on a sugar high, laughing like hyenas.
My parents allowed us to stay up past our regular bedtime so we could sort our candy. Then we'd give Mom and Dad the first pick of our haul. Dad didn't like candy, so offering him the best of our best was a safe bet. Mom, on the other hand, loved dipping into our loot. When she reached out her hand I always winced, afraid she'd select my one and only Chick-O-Stick. But Mom never took the good stuff. She always grabbed the treats I didn't want, such as the Raisinettes, Junior Mints, or black licorice. Back then, I thought she chose these because she liked only gross candy. I now realize she picked the gross candy because she loved me.
Then some crazy people ruined Halloween by poisoning candy and sticking razor blades into caramel apples. But all wasn't lost. My childhood church saved the day by creating a Harvest Festival: a fall carnival "coincidentally" held on October 31. Our church never called it a Halloween party, but we kids knew what it was. We could still wear costumes and collect and eat candy. That annual church event took the sting out of not being able to trick-or-treat on the streets. It also became an outreach event; neighbors felt safe sending their kids to a church.
This year, I'll wear a homemade costume, as usual. But instead of being the eager kid reaching for chocolate bars, I'll be the smiling adult passing out treats at my current church's Harvest Festival. My church has allowed me to host the mini-carnival on the Sunday before Halloween for the past three years.
Serving at this event has deepened my appreciation for community. I've begun to understand "it takes a village": Every adult should serve and care for the children in the church. That concept might sound obvious or cheesy, but I suspect many childless adults, like me, rarely experience this feeling of connectedness and community within our church.
But why does Halloween need to be involved? I could—and do—serve kids year-round. Still, no other holiday feels as intergenerational to me, or as mutually beneficial to grown folks and kids. When else do 4-year-olds, 14-year-olds, and 40-year-olds put on goofy outfits, play silly games, and eat handfuls of candy together?
At last year's Harvest Festival, I grinned when I saw a member of our church worship team bob for apples. A senior citizen from the church decorated a mini-pumpkin alongside kids. Our associate pastor laughed heartily as he unsuccessfully attempted to drop clothespins into a narrow-mouthed jar. These adults provided a mighty example to the children: Fun and laughter can be lifelong experiences. As I applied green face paint on a 17-year-old girl, I thought, This is what joy and connectedness look like! This is exactly what God intended his people to experience together.
Am I being too idealistic about Halloween? I can't deny the darkness that's still prevalent, evidenced in the terrifying costumes for sale and bloody horror flicks released this time of year. I well know the holiday's history. I've read editorials on why Christians should shun the "night of evil," and I've considered the Scriptures used to defend that opinion (such as 1 Thessalonians 5:21-23, Ephesians 5:11, and Deuteronomy 18:9-13). Christians have long tried to redeem Halloween from its pagan origins through All-Saints' Day, Reformation Day, and alternative events, such as my church's Harvest Festival. I believe in continuing to try, if only to remember that even in seemingly encompassing darkness, there's a Light (John 8:12).
If God asked me to stop all observation of Halloween, I would. He hasn't, and I don't think he will. I recall how my mom used to eat the gross candies, knowing that I'd eat them just because they were there. And that I wouldn't enjoy them a bit—they'd potentially even ruin my candy-eating experience (a delectable apple Jolly Rancher followed by nasty black licorice—ew!). I believe God's picked all the grossness out of Halloween for me: its dark past, its evil ideas, its scary images. He's reminded me that he makes pumpkins, gourds, and golden autumn leaves. That he created creativity and imagination. That he loves my serving others. That he's God, and he can use even Halloween to love on his kids.
Blessings,
Holly
Plucking the Stray Grays (September 26, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Will dying my hair affect future generations' self-image?
September 26, 2007 |
I'm a low-maintenance gal. Most days, my makeup consists of a smear of ChapStick�. I get a $12 haircut two or three times a year. My minimalist style is partly rebelliousness, having heard my mom, a retired beautician, nag, "Comb your hair! And why don't you put on some lipstick?" throughout my teen years. But not until my stint as a fashion reporter did I go totally anti-beauty. I saw firsthand how fashion magazines shape the societal beauty standards that make girls feel inadequate. From then on, I pledged my appearance would be au naturel.
That is, until I spotted my first real gray hairs.
In high school, I had a few stray grays that never troubled me. Back then, finding a random, wiry white hair sticking up from my chestnut mane was kind of cool. Contrary to my mother's warnings, when I pulled it out, five didn't grow back in its place. But in my late 20s, I noticed those single strands had mutated into little gray clusters. My solution: brush the dark hair over the gray areas so I couldn't see them. I kept brushing in denial until a few years ago. I went for my semiannual haircut on my 31st birthday, and the stylist offered, "I can touch up those bad spots for you." I passed on the dye job, but went home feeling defeated.
My youth—as I knew it—ended that day. I began questioning my commitment to natural hair color. I don't want to go gray! I don't want to look old! I whined internally. At the same time, my pledge to buck conventional beauty pressed in on me. I wondered: How might my choice to dye or not to dye affect future generations?
Thinking my hair color would impact other women and girls seemed a bit egotistical. But then I picked up a recent issue of Time magazine that dubbed women's hair-color choice "The Gray Wars," calling it "the latest feminist debate over aging and authenticity." This issue has polarized baby boomers, some of whom defend their dyed tresses while others promote natural gray hair.
The debate includes a superficial element, to be sure. Some women insist gray hair's superior because it's real and naturally beautiful. Others argue dyed hair looks better and reflects a youthful spirit.
But the issue goes deeper than vanity. Some women worry about gray discrimination in the workplace—that they'll get less respect or even lose their job if they go gray. (And, they contend, the same doesn't hold true for graying men, whose hair connotes responsibility and intelligence to employers.) These women fear society will deem them irrelevant if they go gray—too old to make an impact anymore.
On the pro-gray side, women want to own up to the reality of aging and seize the opportunity to redefine beauty. These ideas reflect my biggest concern: If I dye my hair, will girls think they have to look young forever? We live in an age where 60-year-old celebrities have skin with less flaws than a 16-year-old's—and few publicly admit to having had cosmetic surgery. Will girls employ extreme measures to keep up? Will women feel they aren't truly beautiful unless they appear perpetually 20 years old?
On the other hand, suggesting women become dumpy and dowdy as a show of "real" beauty seems extreme. At 58, my mom never has a hair out of place. Mom once took a comb and a mini-bottle of hairspray on a 10-hour, 16-mile hike. She came back ever-so-pleased that her hair looked as perfect as it did when she'd left our campsite. Looking good makes her feel good. I'd never suggest Mom stop coloring her hair or change her beauty routine, because I now realize it's part of who she is. What's truly beautiful is that my mom and I have learned to appreciate each other's distinct beauty. I admire her talent to create perfect hair and makeup, and she admires my ability to pull off a carefree style.
Ironically, I've spent more time obsessing over what to do with my hair than I've ever spent styling it. The Bible tells me beauty emanates from something much deeper than physical appearance: "Do not let your beauty come from the outside. It should not be the way you comb your hair or the wearing of gold or the wearing of fine clothes. Your beauty should come from the inside. It should come from the heart. This is the kind that lasts. Your beauty should be a gentle and quiet spirit. In God's sight this is of great worth and no amount of money can buy it" (1 Peter 3:3–4, NLV).
Beauty that's built to last, even as I age—that's the kind I want. I pray it will keep me from making value judgments on other women's hair, regardless of what I do with my own.
Blessings,
Holly
Can a Diverse Church Be Unified? (August 22, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
To be healthy as a body, we need to start making The Other feel like The Every.
August 22, 2007 |
Several years ago, my friend LaTonya invited me to a gospel concert at her church, a predominantly African American congregation. Admittedly my first thought was, Will I be the only person there who isn't black? Before I could voice my concern, LaTonya told me she'd invited several mutual friends, people I knew were of various ethnicities. Still, I was rather fixated on how out of place I was going to feel.
At the concert, the tiny section of LaTonya's friends stood out in the nearly homogeneous sea of faces. Maybe I was imagining, but I felt eyes fixed on me. I later told LaTonya my fears about being "The Other" in the room. Her words stick with me to this day: "Holly, I feel that way everywhere except my church." Then it hit me - LaTonya had been incredibly bold inviting me to her concert. At the place where she fit in comfortably, where she was "The Every," she'd differentiated herself by bringing her ethnically diverse group of friends.
Questions filled my head. Why had I felt out of place - in a church?! Did I not recognize that I was part of the body of Christ, and that the body is diverse? How could I be so clueless to not see that my buddy LaTonya regularly felt like The Other?
Unlike LaTonya, I'm usually The Every, a gal who's used to fitting in just about everywhere. I have a mix of Caucasian, Filipino, Mexican, and Native American ancestry. I've been a member of Asian and Chicano social groups, and I proudly wear my "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" button on St. Patrick's Day. I feel comfortable around people of every ethnicity.
That is, until someone makes me feel I'm The Other. I've been told "You're not really Asian" and called pocha (a slur describing a Mexican woman who's lost her culture). When I was in third grade, a skinhead shouted at me, "Don't you wish you were white?" Just a few years ago, a complete stranger in a store snarled, "Why don't you go back where you came from?" as we both waited in the checkout line. The hurtful message sent to The Other is: You're not like us. You don't belong.
You'd hope folks wouldn't be made to feel like The Other within the Christian community. Unfortunately, hurts happen here, too.
When LifeWay Christian Resources began promoting "Far-out Far East Rickshaw Rally - Racing to the Son," its 2004 Vacation Bible School program, members of the Asian-American community noted stereotypical images such as rickshaws, take-out boxes, and karate uniforms, and called the material racially offensive. Despite a protest petition and a letter-writing campaign headed by an Asian pastor, LifeWay defended the curriculum and distributed it.
And just a couple months ago, a North Carolina church made headlines after three white members in blackface lip-synched to hymns at a church function. The church initially defended the performance, asserting it was meant to celebrate gospel music, not intended to poke fun. Soon after, the pastor issued a public apology to those who'd been offended, but didn't condemn the performance itself.
In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says we dismiss others' legitimate hurts because we feel entitled to our behavior. We err when we trust our own assessment of whether something is hurtful, when we think, They shouldn't be hurt. I wouldn't be. That's like telling The Other, "It's your fault for not being like me."
I've been thinking about how Jesus embraced The Other in his society: women, children, lepers, the poor, prostitutes, Samaritans, and tax collectors. And how early church leaders struggled over whether to include Gentiles. I'm beginning to realize how difficult reaching out to The Other is, because in doing so, we often set ourselves up for the same rejection and pain The Other feels.
My friend Brooke, who's white, recently voiced concern about an online Christian video he felt reflected racist attitudes toward African Americans. The response to his concern? Comments from church leaders such as "Give me a break" and "Lighten up." If only more Christians would recognize Brooke's concern is for the whole body of Christ: "If one part of our body hurts, we hurt all over. If one part of our body is honored, the whole body will be happy" (1 Corinthians 12:26, CEV).
This inclusive attitude was demonstrated when Youth Specialties, a branch of Zondervan, realized earlier this year it had published a racially offensive skit in one of its books. Mark Oestreicher, president of Youth Specialties, immediately offered a public apology. At great expense, Zondervan pulled the book from shelves, revised and reprinted it, and offered to replace previously purchased copies with the new edition. Their quick response and sincerity drew wide praise from the Christian community. Personally, their actions make me want to stand and cheer!
As a church, we need to recognize the wounds of The Other, and not dismiss their pain. To "love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18, Mark 12:28-31) is a profound undertaking, because it requires a respect and consideration that doesn't come naturally. It begins with submission: giving up my rights to meet another's needs. "Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another" (Ephesians 5:21, THE MESSAGE).
Blessings,
Holly
Breaking Up the Christian Party (July 25, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
No single opinion defines all Christians.
July 25, 2007 |
Imagine this: You walk into church and find your good friend "Linda" in tears. Linda, an active member of your church for more than a decade, confides she's in the United States illegally and is facing imminent deportation. What do you do?
As part of a campaign called the New Sanctuary Movement, churches in 20 cities are publicly offering protection to undocumented immigrants facing deportation. These churches know their actions are illegal, but they say they're taking this stance to draw attention to unjust immigration laws and the plight of affected families. Their website reads, "When we see families in need or danger, we are called by our faith to respond." In a USA Today story published earlier this month, a former pastor who supports the movement says, "This is what we're called to do by our Christian principles."
These statements - being "called by our faith" and moved by "Christian principles" - make me wonder: Are these activists claiming their actions are the Christian thing to do? Imagine Linda again. Is your faith less real if you don't hide Linda in your church? Must you, because of your Christian faith, come to the same conclusion as the New Sanctuary Movement supporters?
Add the New Sanctuary Movement to the growing list of campaigns in which Christian groups are actively engaged: marriage amendment, pro-life, environment. That's a whole lot of political activity within the church. Christians should care about human rights, moral and family issues, and God's creation. But the church may be on a dangerous path when Christian faith becomes inextricably linked to a specific set of political stances.
An agnostic friend told me he sees politics as a roadblock to Christianity. "I could never be a right-wing Republican," he says. He believes all Christians eventually take on an unequivocal political position because of their spiritual beliefs. I'm becoming more convinced - and concerned - some Christians believe that, too.
During a conversation with some Christian girlfriends, one woman asked, "How could any Christian be pro-choice?" (It was more statement than question.) A second woman carefully explained her concern for rape victims and expectant mothers with life-threatening complications. Then several of us admitted uncertainty about those issues. The first woman piped up, "I don't see how any Christian could support baby murder."
I was troubled by how her statement both oversimplified the issue and seemed to imply someone wasn't truly a Christian unless she was unflinchingly pro-life. Later, I spoke with a woman who'd remained silent during the abortion discussion. She told me that several years ago, on the advice of her physician, she'd terminated a pregnancy. That decision still tormented her, but she was afraid to reach out to church friends. (The "baby murder" comment seemed to justify her fear.) Another Christian friend of mine who's a nurse at Planned Parenthood is cautious about revealing her workplace. She believes her job offers amazing opportunities to show Christ's love, but isn't so sure other Christians will understand.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm one of those Christians. Are my political opinions preventing me from loving others? What am I assuming about other Christians' opinions? My friend Peggy has a hilarious story from her childhood. On discovering a church member was a registered Democrat, she asked her father, "Is he going to hell?" Young Peggy thought "Republican" meant the same thing as "Christian." It was the mistake of an innocent. Yet how often do the media insinuate there's indeed a "Christian Party"?
The media aren't the only ones who've made this assumption. The early church struggled over whether adherence to the Jewish law (circumcision, dietary practices) should be required for salvation. Some church leaders insisted a person couldn't be saved until he or she obeyed these laws. The apostle Peter disagreed, telling the other leaders, "Now why are you trying to make God angry by placing a heavy burden on these followers? This burden was too heavy for us or our ancestors. But our Lord Jesus was kind to us, and we are saved by faith in him, just as the Gentiles are" (Acts 15:10-11, CEV). Similarly, Christians today shouldn't make their own opinions mandatory for other Christians. Suggesting that faith moves people to only one conclusion is like adding an amendment to salvation.
Admittedly, I've occasionally wondered, If she's a Christian, how could she hold that opinion? In those moments, I have to remember every believer first answers to God (Acts 5:29, Acts 10). I must trust God's ability to move individuals, and even concede God may be revealing something to Christians who don't share my opinions.
Blessings,
Holly
Hot Under the Collar (June 28, 2007)
by Holly Vicente Robaina
Trying to make sense of the environmental debate
June 28, 2007
Feel a bit warmer lately? Scientists worldwide say planet Earth is getting pretty hot due to global warming. But while there's widespread conviction that global warming is real, there's heated debate over how to solve the problem - most noticeably among Christian leaders. Earlier this month, several of them testified before the U.S. Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works, expressing deeply divided thoughts on the issue.
Over the past year, two groups of feuding evangelicals have loudly proclaimed their opinions about global warming. Both groups held press conferences, made public statements, and sent letters to top government officials. Their battle has drawn extensive news coverage, including in a PBS special report, "Is God Green?" Further, an evangelical leader from one camp drew accusations of defaming PBS journalist Bill Moyers. Whew - it's getting pretty hot, all right!
Both sides in this evangelical brawl have climate experts and research data to support their claims. On one side is the Evangelical Climate Initiative (ECI), whose supporters include Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life; Leith Anderson, president of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE); Jim Wallis, editor of Sojourners magazine; Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Community Church; and four members of the Christianity Today magazine staff. The ECI believes human activities cause climate changes and advocates the immediate reduction of carbon emissions that result from burning fossil fuels. They're asking U.S. leaders to pass laws requiring businesses to reduce emissions, and calling on churches and individuals to purchase energy-efficient appliances and vehicles. They're essentially saying, Be proactive. Measures taken today will lessen the potentially devastating effects of global warming in the future.
On the other side is the Cornwall Alliance for the Stewardship of Creation, formerly the Interfaith Stewardship Alliance. Backed by James Dobson, chairman of Focus on the Family, and Chuck Colson, chairman of Prison Fellowship Ministries, the Cornwall Alliance also acknowledges the problem of global warming. But it believes natural factors - not human activities - may be the primary cause. Human emissions of carbon dioxide "are probably a minor and possibly insignificant contributor" to global warming, they say. Additionally, the Cornwall Alliance believes that if world governments call for mandatory reduction of fossil fuel use, gas prices will rise and economic development in poor countries will slow, creating a far worse situation for the poor than any negative effects global warming could create. And, they suggest, there may be benefits from global warming scientists don't yet realize. They're essentially saying, Be prudent. Study this thoroughly before acting, because hasty actions might cause bigger problems.
Noticing both camps' supporters represent a literal who's who in evangelical Christianity, I wondered, Do I choose Rick Warren's opinion over James Dobson's? The NAE president over the founder of Prison Fellowship Ministries? Do I choose to be prudent or proactive - especially with global destruction on the line? As I sifted through the jargon and fluff of both arguments, I decided both have strengths and weaknesses.
Then I asked myself the more important questions: What can I do personally? And why would I do these things? Two concepts offer me clarity: simplicity and stewardship. Simplicity, or simple living, says, I don't need a new wardrobe every season to feel pretty. I don't need to leave every light on in my house to feel safe. I don't need to drive a gas-guzzling SUV to feel empowered. Hmm, if I realize I don't need those things to feel good about myself, maybe I'll look to God more often for my value. Stewardship similarly says, Spending less on clothing saves money. Turning lights off or using energy-efficient bulbs saves money. Driving a fuel-efficient car saves money. Hey, with all that extra money, I could give more to my church, treat a stressed-out girlfriend to a movie, or buy lunch for the homeless person on the corner.
I'm not alone in this world. God wants me to interact with people and to remember my choices impact others. Everything I have is on loan. My money and resources are gifts from God to be used wisely. Simplicity and stewardship are good choices, regardless of whether my efforts affect the climate.
At some point, I may need to take sides on the issue of global warming. Perhaps I'll have to decide whether to sign a petition or how to vote on a proposition. Until then, I'm not going to hide in my house, feeling too guilty to drive or to toss anything into the trash. And I'm not going to throw everything into one garbage bag because doing so is more convenient than separating recyclable items, either. I'll do all I can to make less mess in God's creation, remembering he gave it to all his children to use - not just me.
You can live more simply - and just maybe help the Earth - in plenty of easy ways, such as washing your clothes in cold water instead of hot, keeping your car tires properly inflated, and paying your bills online instead of sending paper checks. When you reduce, reuse, recycle - that's being both prudent and proactive.
Blessings,
Holly
What do you think about global warming? And in what ways are you trying to reduce, reuse, or recycle?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Journey from Fear to Faith: Christina DiMari
Holly's profile of Christian author Christina DiMari is now online:
Christina DiMari bolted up the stairs with her siblings, desperate to reach the safety of the family's third-floor bathroom. She laid down next to her three sisters and her brother, all of them trying to press their bodies flat against the cold bathroom floor. They listened for their father's thudding footsteps, terrified he would burst in with his gun and threaten to shoot them, as he often did when he was drunk. Violent noise drifted up from their living room two floors below: screams and swearing, the crash of breaking glass. Two gun shots. The children trembled. Was their mother dead? Would their dad kill them next?
FULL STORY:
Journey from Fear to Faith
Abused as a child, Ocean Star author Christina DiMari shares her troubled past in hope others will find healing.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/peopleoffaith/profiles/journeyfromfeartofaith.html
Thursday, April 03, 2008
"Women Ask, Women Answer" Now Available
The book was compiled by the editors of Today's Christian Woman magazine. It addresses questions on the topics of: friends, health and fitness, career and employment, time management, money and finances, home and hospitality, being single, marriage, parenting and children, family, and spiritual growth.
Holly's contribution is in the "career and employment" section; she offers tips on how to deal with losing a job.
More information, including where to purchase the book: http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?dept_id=150000&sku=1404104526
Friday, March 07, 2008
Holly in "Alternative Medicine: The Christian Handbook"
From the book:
______
A debate between Christian practitioners and opponents of yoga was triggered by Holly Robaina’s 2005 article in Today’s Christian Woman. The author interviewed a woman who was introduced to destructive beliefs through yoga. Robaina noted that terms commonly used in “secular” yoga have religious meanings. The “salute to the sun” posture used to begin many classes pays homage to the Hindu sun god, and namaste, used to end yoga classes, literally means “I bow to the God within you.”
However, a faithful user of yoga responded that her faith in Christ is invigorated by yoga. As she goes through the positions, she reflects on Christ and his character. While some people’s faith may be too weak to resist the temptation to explore the worldview behind yoga, this person’s faith is strong and she claims she benefits from yoga. Robaina responded that the bottom line is not whether we are strong enough to practice yoga but whether we should refrain from yoga for the sake of those who may be too weak to withstand its spiritual lure (1 Corinthians 8:12-13).
We agree with Robaina’s view. There may not be clear reasons for Christians to condemn all forms of yoga. Some people may be able to practice it beneficially and without spiritual problems. But the results are not all that matter. Paul gives some helpful advice in 1 Corinthians 6:12: “Everything is permissible for me’—but not everything is beneficial.” Given its origin and the potential for spiritual problems, the burden rests with the yoga advocate to demonstrate why this form of exercise should be chosen when so many other breathing, exercise, and stretching routines exist that have no spiritual underpinnings.
______
*This is an excerpt; it should not be construed as an endorsement for the book.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Today's Christian Woman 2007 Blog Posts
Golden Opportunity
The Golden Compass provides a new way to think and talk candidly about the church.
(December)
Generation Exodus
Why do so many young people leave the church?
(November)
A Halloween-Loving Christian?
Maybe it’s OK for me to enjoy this controversial holiday.
(October)
Plucking the Stray Grays
Will dying my hair affect future generations' self-image?
(September)
Can a Diverse Church Be Unified?
To be healthy as a body, we need to start making The Other feel like The Every.
(August)
Breaking Up the Christian Party
No single opinion defines all Christians.
(July)
Hot Under the Collar
Trying to make sense of the environmental debate
(June)
Monday, October 15, 2007
Holly in "Good Housekeeping" Magazine
Holly wrote:
"Unlike other holidays, Thanksgiving has no costumes or fireworks, no cards or presents. There's nothing to distract from simple gratitude. We pause to thank God for things we don't often consider: food on the table, a roof over our heads, family. I look at each person seated around our table and feel more grateful than ever."
Holly feels deeply honored her words were selected for this publication, which reaches 26 million readers every month.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Holly to Blog for Today's Christian Woman
"Walk With Me" is comprised of four sections: Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind. Holly will be writing the Mind section, with an emphasis on current events, hot topics, cultural trends, and financial matters. Her first post will appear on June 28, 2007.
Check out Holly's section of "Walk With Me" at: http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/mind/.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Evangelical Press Association Award
She received a fourth place award in the Freelance Article category for "Unearthing Unearthly TV," which appeared in the Sept/Oct 2006 issue of Today's Christian Woman magazine.
This is her second EPA award.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Interview on WBCL Radio
Topic: Should Christians watch supernatural-themed television programs? (Based on Holly's article for Today's Christian Woman, "Unearthing Unearthly TV")
INTERVIEW (Holly's segment runs from the 23 to 38 minute marks.)
TRANSCRIPT (edited for clarity)
MORE ABOUT THE SHOW
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Today's Christian Woman, Sept/Oct 2006
Should Christians watch supernatural-themed television programs?
(Today's Christian Woman, September/October 2006)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
First-Person Articles
I partied almost every weekend, all the while telling everyone I was a Christian.
(Campus Life, November/December 2003)
Aren't You Listening, God?
I prayed about my eyes every night. Why wasn't God healing me?
(Campus Life, June/July 2003)
It's Not Fair!
In high school, I was always right. At least, that's how I saw myself.
(Campus Life online exclusive, October 18, 2003)
Spread the Word!
I'm slowly learning to take the risk and share my faith.
(Campus Life online exclusive, May 10, 2003)
Why Bother God?
With famine, murder and war all over the world, my little problem seemed unimportant.
(Campus Life, June/July 2003)
Holly & her sister, Angela
Photo Credit: Rebecca Wood
8 Steps to a Better Friendship with God
My sister gave me some great ideas for doing devotions.
(Campus Life, September/October 2003)
Take a Pass on Yoga (Opinion)
How can I support a practice that is targeting the young and the weak?
(Christianity Today online exclusive, June 7, 2005)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Profiles
Yoga led Laurette Willis into a New Age lifestyle. Now she's warning others of the spiritual pitfalls—and offering an alternative.
(Today's Christian Woman, March/April 2005)
A Mother's Anguish
In 2002, Carol Kent's son was sentenced to life in prison for murder. The popular Christian speaker talks about what she's learned—and the ministries that resulted.
(Today's Christian Woman, July/August 2004)
Redeeming Public Education
What began as a temporary substitute-teaching job became a holy calling for education professor Pete C. Menjares.
(Today's Christian, September/October 2005)
Heart of Clay
Clay Aiken became a superstar on TV's American Idol, but this Christian kid from North Carolina insists he'll always stay true to himself and to God.
(Today's Christian, November/December 2005)
Out of the Mire
Sexually abused as a child, former American Idol finalist RJ Helton finds healing. Now he hopes to help others by building a home for abused children.
(ChristianMusicToday.com, August 18, 2003)
Something to Smile About
For RJ Helton, American Idol was just another way to share his faith.
(Campus Life, January/February 2004)
Living to the Extreme
After a serious accident, professional skateboarder Jud Heald turned his life around.
(Campus Life, November/December 2003)
A Cup of Friendship
Artist/author Sandy Clough created Sandy's Tea Society as a way for women to connect online—and over a cup of tea.
(Today's Christian Woman, November/December 2004)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Makes its Mark with Christians
(Adventist Review online, February 2006)
Building a Miracle
Two Adventist families receive the blessing of a new home from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition--just in time.
(Adventist Review online, February 2006)
Rebuilding Hope
How ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is changing families and churches across the nation.
*Includes separate stories about John & Wendy Cox, and Sweet Alice Harris, who received home makeovers.
(Today's Christian, May/June 2005)
A Foundation of Faith?
The creator of ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition shares the vision behind the hit show.
(Today's Christian online exclusive, May/June 2005)
About Holly Vicente Robaina
She's worked as a writer, editor, and graphic designer for newspapers, magazines, books, and websites. She served as a reporter at the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, covering the food, fashion, and kids beats.
Holly has been writing for Christian publications since 2002 and has served on the staffs of Campus Life and Today's Christian Woman magazines. She received a 2004 Higher Goals Award from the Evangelical Press Association for a story about her own path to faith, "I Lived a Lie."
Currently, Holly is a regular contributor for Today's Christian Woman. This site offers links to some of her pieces published in Today's Christian Woman, Today's Christian (formerly Christian Reader), Christianity Today online, Ignite Your Faith (formerly Campus Life), and Adventist Review online.
Thank you for visiting Holly's site.